Tag Archives: consciousness

Poetry for spiritual development

Lonely River

Pull me out of the Lonely River
I don’t want to drown anymore here
I stepped into the current with both feet
For the same mistakes, I had to repeat
I shiver
As I lift my hands
Hoping for a grip that pulls me out
Out of the Lonely River

Water caresses my skin
As I sink
I think
it’s time to get out
But without a clear mind
I’m staying. There’s no doubt

Pull me out of the Lonely River
I don’t really belong here
I tipped my toes out of curiosity
To understand this philosophy
I freeze
As I see things differently
Hoping to notice someone else
Who swam in the Lonely River

Wind caresses my skin
As I sink
I think
It’s not just me drowning
But I don’t hear anyone else
I’m feeling their entire presence.

Pull me out of the Lonely River
I don’t want to reconsider
I dove to the bottom already
To see my hidden treasures
I gasp
As I restart my mind
Hoping to explain to you well
What really is in the Lonely River

Heat caresses my skin
As I sink
I think
It’s not exactly real
But telling the truth is tough
I’m suddenly becoming enough

Pull me out of the Lonely River
I don’t need to find another swimmer
I jumped head first on purpose
To reveal the mysteries
I laugh
As I become one with everything
Hoping you’ll become a real winner
And fall in love with the Lonely River

Sand caresses my skin
As I sink
I think
It’s not a river anymore
But why didn’t I see the reality?
I’m now aware of the universality

Lightworkers symbolised as a lighthouse in the dark night (of the soul)

We all play with light

I’m trying to decide whether to go with a deep, philosophical angle here or pure emotions. My intuition whispers to me softly to choose feelings right now. Those little fractions of our souls, that spark up our days. Or dim them.

“Dim them” – as this rolls off my lips, it has that low frequency feeling to it. Especially when you say it slowly. Dim. Them. Kind of like those sound effects in movies when something drastically is about to happen.

OK, so this is why my intuition gently shoved me towards emotions. To start deeply feeling my words. When you’re a communicator and words are your ammunition, you have a major responsibility to carry. How you put things into perspective can create a spark or a dimming motion.

When you form sentences, you are playing with light. The choice is always there to use language for darkening or lightening up your surroundings. Language is a pulsating burst of energy. It can heal or destroy. And the impact of that energy relies on a 2-fold system:

  1. how the speaker decides to use it
  2. how the listener decides to intercept it

But let’s roll back to emotions for a second before my philosophical mind completely takes over.

Words can make you feel things on levels that you didn’t even know existed. You don’t understand why you feel suddenly so energised and joyous when someone tells you how much they appreciate your efforts. You also wonder when the heavy emotions start swirling around in you when you hear the disappointment in your loved one’s voice.

This is why it’s important to choose your words carefully. Not only do they have an emotional impact on others around you but they also influence how you feel after they swoosh out of your mouth.

Remember, you are playing with light when you think, speak and write. What will you choose to become next time? The lighthouse or the darkness that surrounds it?


Are you also a lightworker ready to make a positive impact?

You’re not alone. There are many of us out there following our internal calling to help humanity evolve and to make our world a better place. Join this revolution and turn your calling into a fulfilling career.

leap: how to have faith in yourself to make life happen for you

Leap

In a leap year, I leapt into my destiny. Out of everything, I chose to jump right into that one.
It started at the very beginning of that year. I rolled into 2020 with a deep trance-like state. As champagne glasses were jingling together at midnight in other homes in Barcelona, I was lying on my back in my bed alone. Physically at least.

Exactly one year before that night, I was debating inside my soul where to allow life to take me next. I had just returned from Sri Lanka after saying goodbye to my accelerator island, Malta. My home for 4 years. On that night, sitting on my sister’s oversized sofa, I pondered. Why do I feel this unanswered question trying to carve a way out of my whole being? Sitting inside this German small town flat, I looked at my sister and her fiance. Doozy eyes were glancing back at me, not truly understanding that feeling that decided to take over my facial expressions. I’m sure they knew that something ‘strange’ was going on with me. I just simply couldn’t express it properly. Not to them, not even to myself.

The feelings of self-discovery and purpose-hunting (yes, this is an actual feeling) took over my soul entirely. I had to go somewhere, be somewhere, flow somewhere. And leave something behind.

Shedding my skin wasn’t a new process to me. I already had so many layers of old patterns, misbeliefs, bad conditions ripped away from my mind, soul and body. You can’t count them on one hand. Infinity shedding? Is that what this life is really about? Let’s not go down that other carving question for now. Let’s keep this story about leaping into destiny.

I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes in my bed on the last night of 2019 in that buzzing Spanish city. I wanted to hear my higher-self whisper ‘happy new year’ to me that day. I swooshed into a deep meditative state as I let my muscles relax from my little toe to the top of my always-wondering head. Somehow I knew, that moment there would be one of the catalysts to my spiritual expansion within the emotional field.

Emotions have been my stumbling blocks for quite some time actually. I had this ongoing lesson about feeling my way through things until I finally started to get it. To get softer. To become the light in between the hidden cliffs. To become the nurturing character in all areas of my life, not just in business. That meant shedding my old skin of the ‘strong woman’. Oh, the painful ripping of that layer of old patterns. There was no longer this masculine lady who would burst out in an angry monologue about what women should really do and how it had been so overdue to rise up, speak up, act up. What was beneath that old skin, was this caring woman who wanted to share her energy with another soul whom she knew for centuries. So as I closed my eyes to start meditating myself into 2020, I felt this eruption of acceptance and joy spreading through my cells.

I was ready to step into the gates of my destiny. I was given a choice to leap or flow slowly. I didn’t hesitate. With a sharp turn, I walked away from flowing. I wanted the speed, the thrill, the explosion of experiences. And I wanted them to circle around two aspects of my life: career and relationships. I got more than what I expected for both. Life led me down a path that was ending at the door of destiny for both of these. I was already past the gates, now it was the doors that I had to bust through. With a heartful kick, I first kicked down the career door. I finally felt the courage to start my own business instead of waiting around to feel ready. Fire came back into my soul as soon as I gave my attention and love to mind my own business. I brought myself to the forefront. The raw and real self that had been carving those questions in my whole being for years. But what happened next was not what I expected at all.

I imagined my career would magically transform and I’d become a spiritual entrepreneur overnight. My days would be mainly filled with business activities and smashing it out there. Instead, I ended up saying yes to a random road trip with my friends in mid-February. Honestly, how could I have known that that road was also leading me to my destiny? All I wanted was a quick break from spending 10+ hours on my laptop trying to change the world. And then it happened. It was another level of manifesting. The second I heard his voice, something shook in me. A buried part of my soul just got abruptly woken up and started screaming at me: it’s him! There he is! I shushed that voice. No, not now, I’m only here to take a break. I wasn’t looking for this. Maybe not consciously but a deep part of my heart knew that my manifestation was just about to burst open in front of my eyes in this tiny seaside town on the east coast of Spain.

How could I have known that the next morning I would wake up in the arms of this soul-feeder? Nevertheless, I did. I woke up next to him and today, 2 years later, I’m grateful that I chose the leap route. So whatever gates you stand in front of, know this: it’s worth to leap.

Layers of love

I loved so many times in so many different ways. I loved until it hurt, I loved until it shone, I loved until I travelled to different dimensions, I loved until I went back to the past, I loved until I smiled, I loved until I remembered, I loved until I hoped, I loved until it went quiet, I loved until it went loud and I loved until I loved myself. And now I just love. I love everything and everyone, I love the joy, I love the pain, I love the light, I love the dark.

I love all parts of me which are all of you around me. I love the doubting thoughts in my mind and the reassuring mantras that spread calmness all over my being. I love how your voice takes over my whole existence, my breathing, my heartbeat, my belief system.

I love how you, out of this big crowd became a singular beam of energy. I don’t love all of these things because of you, but with you in my light and my shadow, I learnt to love all of this around me even more. You are my amplifier. Because of you, I sharpened my vision, I enhanced the exposure, I coloured in the grey areas.

My mission with you is clear to me: to show you how magnificent you are, how powerful and ancient you are but most importantly to just let you be. It’s not my task to show you any of this, my task is to be there with you, supporting you on your journey while you realise this. To create a home for you and me where we can take a relaxed breath from all of our missions in life. I want to give you roots, give stability and the safety of home.  

Time

18.12.2019

Time was not supposed to go this way
Behind the veil you know that it’s astray
Those countless times, could you really ever count them?
Twice the pleasure but how many times the truth: 8-9 or 10?
When you grasp the reality that comes with an expiration date
And no matter how much you fight it, you can’t escape your fate

This might feel a bit too dark so maybe I should stop

Stop showing you that you need to embrace the darkness
Because without it you can never see the brightness
Shining through the black background. That’s how you see the light.
Light up my face
When you embrace
Your hidden parts
Are divisions of art.
Articulate your desires in life
It just might
Bring it to surface
And you can surf through this.

This whole experience called life
Will show you what you’re really about.

So how did we end up here analysing our actions?
Starting to feel so deep about the consequences of life’s fractions
Maybe we are just too out of this world to explain our feelings
And restricted by words to tell everyone the real meaning.
I don’t mean to annoy you with my thoughts
And there are so many of us
Feeling the same way
When we say mayday.

Where is the rescue to save us from our visions?
To keep us grounded in our ambitious missions?

Time was not supposed to go this way
Behind the veil you know that it’s astray
We are impatient because we feel the change knocking on our doors
And we’re not sure who will fight with us during these upcoming wars.

Sent Away/ Liah’s secret

14.02.2019

Sometimes I wonder if he knows the truth about me. His snarky comebacks make me question my ability of keeping my secret hidden. Buried deep within my soul and thoughts. My brother can never find out that I am one of them. For his own sake. It would only be fuel to fire. Brian is already known for his short temper and rebellious attitude. I’m terrified to even imagine what he would do if he knew I am a Hybrid. A voluntary Hybrid actually.

I wanted to make a change, I felt an urge to save our dying, overpopulated planet. When I pressed the ‘send’ button of my application for becoming a Change Leader, I swallowed down my fears. I knew that I can never reveal my true identity. 6 years ago when I volunteered, the ‘1/24’ rule was already in place for a decade which meant all humans of Earth had to carry out at least 1 good deed every 24 hours. Either towards another human or to the environment.

Humanity has long been lost on our overcrowded planet. As a Change Leader my mission is to help bring humanity and humility back while getting rid of the ‘unwanted characters’. Those humans who don’t commit to daily good deeds are not wanted here anymore. There are too many of us and not enough resources and supplies. We simply make sure that people care a bit more. If not then they get sent away from Earth for good. They become the ‘Unwanted’. We do give them 3 chances though before they are removed from this planet but I will tell you about the whole process a little bit later. First let me introduce myself. (I probably should have done this already, excuse my manners).

My name is Liah, a voluntary Hybrid and Change Leader. And this is my story about how I made a big fuck up in the system that caused the first murder committed by a non-human. So much for making a change.

J, this is what you meant

So many thoughts are swirling around within a pool of heavy emotions within me. How can something get rooted so deep inside your soul in such a short amount of time?

I guess you had no idea just how deep those roots really were. I can’t blame you, I’m not exactly vocal when expressing my feelings. But my emotions were there for you to see: when I closed my mouth and just listened for hours to absorb some of your pain. When I opened my mouth and told you how powerful your soul is and how much potential you truly have. When I got un-comfy just to get you a glass of water because that was what you needed. When I covered you in a blanket when you were fast asleep already with the AC still on. When I watched those documentaries with you to try to understand you better. When I took a backseat to let you be in control. Those were the moments that made my soul light up, that made my heart shimmer and made my mind stop.

I guess you had no idea just how much I really enjoyed our philosophical debates. When you set my brain on fire, you made me feel alive and more attracted to you than you could ever imagine. I felt your intelligence making its way through my bloodstream making my heart pump faster. Those were the moments when I felt the closest to the raw you.

I guess you had no idea how impatiently I was counting down the hours to be spending time with you. To do nothing in particular but just to feel your energy. Just to play with your hand between my fingers or to get lost for a moment in your gaze.

I guess you also had no idea how much I struggled to make this work. How much pain you caused me while pushing me away unintentionally. How many chances I had given this to work is beyond my rational mind. That’s how I knew that my feelings were truly real and raw. They conquered my logic countless times. Shutting me out from your vulnerable space made me feel that I was not worthy for you to enter that sacred place. Slipping back into your bad habits made me question if we are ever going to get really aligned. Were we even looking into the same direction? I’ll never know. What I do know is that these few months have shaped my life and despite the pain, I also got a different level of caring from you. I’ll be ever so grateful for those moments.

I guess I had to experience multiple heartbreaks with you in such a short amount of time to love you even deeper. And to eventually to love me even deeper. To realise that when two people love each other that might not be all what it takes to build a healthy partnership.

So J, what you meant to me was something I’ve never had before. Something so strange, so intense, so painful, so full of drama and so fiery. So satisfying yet so not enough. So ambivalent and so confusing.

When I walked away from you for the last time I was hurt but mostly I was angry at myself that I let you make me feel worthless. The way you talked to me was not something I could shove into one of those ‘guess you had no idea’ boxes.

(I guess I realised my real worth.)

Sri Lanka Unawatuna sunset

Book in progress: All roads lead to Ohm II

Chapter III

Choose carefully

(When trying to find myself meant loosing myself.)


As I was sitting on the terrace of our jungle home, surrounded by beautiful nature I couldn’t understand why I felt so empty inside. Not just empty but I couldn’t really feel anything at all.

I wasn’t sad nor was I struggling with depression. I knew too well what that felt like as I battled through it in my early twenties when I still lived in the UK. But that’s another story. This time around I just felt sort of numb emotionally and it really frustrated me mentally. I knew that this is not the real me, not the cheerful, life-loving, always-a-bit-too-excited me. So who was me? Why did I allow myself to sunk into this mental state?

One thing you probably need to know about me: I tend to live too much inside my head. Even though I would like to think I function based on intuition, that’s just a side effect of when I truly commit to working on myself. In reality I’m in a constant battle between logic and feelings. And by feelings I mean that little stomach-turning gut feeling we all have inside us that we know we should really listen to. Sometimes we refer to it as the voice in our head. See why it gets confusing?

Gut feeling = voice in our head. Thinking = feeling. Thinking vs feeling.

We separate the two when in fact they are the same. Depending on your belief system you might feel comfortable with one or the other. And a lot has to do with it in spiritual terms as well, sorry to break this to you. If you resonate more with consciousness, metaphysics, eastern philosophies you are most likely locate your “inner guidance” somewhere near your brain, your mind, your thinking. If you are more aligned with the principles of ancient teachings or mainstream religion then you’re likely to feel closer to that gut feeling ideology.

Let me say one thing as a disclaimer here: I definitely have no evidence on this theory, I haven’t done any research nor there is any scientific proof of this. It’s nothing but what that little something inside me is telling me. You decide if it is my gut feeling or the voice in my head. All I’m trying to tell you is that you don’t need to fully understand what that thing is. If it sits well with you, then go with it. Don’t care what others will think about it, no one else is going to live your life the way you do. It’s yours to play with.

So there I was, surrounded with palm trees, sunny days in winter time, watching monkeys jumping from one tree to another, yet I felt nothing. I have to tell you, I really tried. I tried to admire all of that, to notice the beauty in the little things, they were just not getting through to me. I had some kind of a shield that kept away joy from bursting through into my emotions. At the time I didn’t understand the reason, it took me about 4-5 months to be able to realise what was happening within me. Let this be a little reminder that life works that way. We tend to understand its events backwards, once they are in the past is when we truly get where certain things were leading us to or what they were teaching us. What I realised those crucial 4-5 months later was that my entire mindset was pulled into another state by the influence of an another human being. Unintentionally. He didn’t mean to bring me down with him however it still happened without me realising it at the time. Was it his fault? Not at all. I choose to be there and I allowed him to drain the fun out of me. Now I understand why but this is where this story gets important for you. What you surround yourself with will have a major impact on your life. Be it a friendship, a relationship, a situation, a job, a location, whatever it is, it will contribute to how you feel about yourself and how you look at life.

The good news is that you have all the power to remove yourself from certain environments. If something is not serving you, you can make adjustments to be where you really want to be mentally and emotionally. Is it scary? Hell yes. Is it worth it? Only if you want to have an enjoyable ride on this planet. So choose carefully.

It’s time

11/12/2018

Extending our 24-hour time restricted day…

So many people say ‘I don’t have time for that’. And it has been said numerous times before me that we have time for what we make time for. But. What if some of us don’t have the basic required means to do what we really would like to do? And I’m not talking about luxury experiences here. Taking a day off to relax our mind might not be possible for someone who works 7 days a week in an undeveloped country for such a low wage that is barely enough to cover survival needs. Going for dinner in a restaurant? Out of the question for these people. Yet they have such strength and calmness. They do not worry what tomorrow will bring because they only enjoy the present day. They’re grateful to experience today. Then another today and another until years have passed. These kind of people are scared to dream.

How can they develop an ambitious mindset when they don’t see any opportunities getting lost when suddenly coming their way? These people truly embrace every 24-hour, every moment, every millisecond. They cherish life. Their 24-hour feels longer. No, not because they are suffering, not at all. These people might live in poverty or a near poverty environment, yet they are happy. They appreciate the smallest things that most of us walk by. A genuine smile, the taste of ripe fruit, the smooth breeze on our skins, an honest conversation. Being fully present and fully experiencing every moment what extends their 24-hours.

Hidden symmetry

Hidden symmetry
Deep rooted hidden geometrical patterns can emerge from our daily events. Even for the trained eye it’s challenging to notice them. But once you catch a glimpse of it then magnificent truths can unfold.

Truths that were in front of us all along, yet we managed to keep our sight blind. What decides the timing of discovery? What process takes place within us that switches the latch to the ready position? Is it even an internal process? Or does something external rips off the blindfold from our forehead? Maybe the answers are not so clear. They are slightly morphed into each other creating a foggy environment. Mind-cloud. Add some emotions to the mix s well to find yourself at the gates of eternal questioning. Philosophical debates with yourself with no winning argument. It’s a forever-draw inside the mind-cloud.

How did we end up here? Let me recap.

Blindfold ripped off, searching for the how, feeling our way through emotions. Gates.

Should we want to take a sudden spin and start walking back away from here, we then realise that the path has vanished. No other options, must open the gates. One step at a time, one step at a time.