Encrypted messages are running through my mind. The more I decipher them the deeper into the darkness I go. With each sentence I’m pulling myself further down. I wonder how can the majority of people be so oblivious to their lives? How can they simply smile and not question their fulfilment? Most likely I’m the one who will get stamped with the ‘strange’ title.
Why am I seeking a meaning, a purpose and why am I breaking my brain cells trying to analyse what the hell I’m supposed to learn? Yes, I accepted that life gives me exactly what I need, yet I can’t comprehend to make it fit into the chain of events that’s called my life. Using some rationale thinking I know that the epiphany of understanding is always delayed. But this is when I break my brain a bit. I do know that time as we know it is an illusion. It’s not linear. So if it’s not linear then how can I be certain that the understanding is ‘delayed’? Delayed means that something happens at a later time. If there is no linearity then how can something be delayed? This paradox gives me a headache.
I’m fighting an ambivalent battle within me: science versus spirituality. These two must collide and eventually align. So many heavy truths came out of both fields. I simply don’t believe that they were meant to be looked at from two separate angles. There must be a degree where they sit together, pointing to an even bigger truth. And that truth somehow lies within me, I just can’t figure it out yet.
Every time I ponder what my greater purpose is in this life, I somehow end up here. Trying to mix science with spiritual thinking. Science is logical, factual, it gives some sort of structure. It’s black and white. Spirituality gives it some life. Some colours. It colours in the facts.
An even greater headache kicks in and I even end up struggling from dizziness. I’m starting to feel frustrated as I can’t bring this knowledge to surface.
While it is great seeing that I have connections with generous people whom are posting about the donations they are making towards charities during this period, it makes me wonder: why is it that we need a reason like Christmas to do this? And before you call me hypocrite, yes I am just as guilty as they are. It was only this morning that I transferred some money to a bank account of a charity supporting people with mental health issues. It makes me question myself as well: why don’t I have this urge to give back in May? In August? I could now stand up for myself and say that actually I do, which is true, however I have to admit that I am definitely more generous this time of the year. I wish we could somehow drag this attitude out to last 12 months rather than 2 weeks per year.
So for those of us who plan our goals for the following year: how about using this inspiration we feel right now to reflect in our next year’s plans? How about making a conscious decision that instead of the peak of our giving-back in December to be spread over 12 months? Maybe it won’t make a huge difference…at first. But! If at least some of us will start this new habit, eventually others will follow as we have the power to influence by showing an example.
So I start. I hereby publicly declare that from 2018 onwards I will be paying more attention to helping out the ones in need. It doesn’t matter how we do it: either by paying for someone else’s meal, donating our time to a charity, helping out someone with a challenge, telling someone how wonderful they really are, getting behind a volunteer organisation’s objective or simply letting someone jump the queue because they can’t miss their flight. Whatever it is, if it will make another person smile for a while then it is worth it.
My personal goal for 2018 is simply to bring more smiles into this world. Because it will just make it a better place to live in for all of us 🙂
If you agree with this then I encourage you to spread the message. And I don’t mean just by sharing this. Yes that would help getting this out to as many of us as possible so I will be grateful if you do it, but I also encourage you to at least try to adapt a similar attitude that suits YOUR life. #timeforchange