Tag Archives: inspiration

Lightworkers symbolised as a lighthouse in the dark night (of the soul)

We all play with light

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I’m trying to decide whether to go with a deep, philosophical angle here or pure emotions. My intuition whispers to me softly to choose feelings right now. Those little fractions of our souls, that spark up our days. Or dim them.

“Dim them” – as this rolls off my lips, it has that low frequency feeling to it. Especially when you say it slowly. Dim. Them. Kind of like those sound effects in movies when something drastically is about to happen.

OK, so this is why my intuition gently shoved me towards emotions. To start deeply feeling my words. When you’re a communicator and words are your ammunition, you have a major responsibility to carry. How you put things into perspective can create a spark or a dimming motion.

When you form sentences, you are playing with light. The choice is always there to use language for darkening or lightening up your surroundings. Language is a pulsating burst of energy. It can heal or destroy. And the impact of that energy relies on a 2-fold system:

  1. how the speaker decides to use it
  2. how the listener decides to intercept it

But let’s roll back to emotions for a second before my philosophical mind completely takes over.

Words can make you feel things on levels that you didn’t even know existed. You don’t understand why you feel suddenly so energised and joyous when someone tells you how much they appreciate your efforts. You also wonder when the heavy emotions start swirling around in you when you hear the disappointment in your loved one’s voice.

This is why it’s important to choose your words carefully. Not only do they have an emotional impact on others around you but they also influence how you feel after they swoosh out of your mouth.

Remember, you are playing with light when you think, speak and write. What will you choose to become next time? The lighthouse or the darkness that surrounds it?

Are you also a lightworker ready to make a positive impact?

You’re not alone. There are many of us out there following our internal calling to help humanity evolve and to make our world a better place. Join this revolution and turn your calling into a fulfilling career.

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leap: how to have faith in yourself to make life happen for you

Leap

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In a leap year, I leapt into my destiny. Out of everything, I chose to jump right into that one.
It started at the very beginning of that year. I rolled into 2020 with a deep trance-like state. As champagne glasses were jingling together at midnight in other homes in Barcelona, I was lying on my back in my bed alone. Physically at least.

Exactly one year before that night, I was debating inside my soul where to allow life to take me next. I had just returned from Sri Lanka after saying goodbye to my accelerator island, Malta. My home for 4 years. On that night, sitting on my sister’s oversized sofa, I pondered. Why do I feel this unanswered question trying to carve a way out of my whole being? Sitting inside this German small town flat, I looked at my sister and her fiance. Doozy eyes were glancing back at me, not truly understanding that feeling that decided to take over my facial expressions. I’m sure they knew that something ‘strange’ was going on with me. I just simply couldn’t express it properly. Not to them, not even to myself.

The feelings of self-discovery and purpose-hunting (yes, this is an actual feeling) took over my soul entirely. I had to go somewhere, be somewhere, flow somewhere. And leave something behind.

Shedding my skin wasn’t a new process to me. I already had so many layers of old patterns, misbeliefs, bad conditions ripped away from my mind, soul and body. You can’t count them on one hand. Infinity shedding? Is that what this life is really about? Let’s not go down that other carving question for now. Let’s keep this story about leaping into destiny.

I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes in my bed on the last night of 2019 in that buzzing Spanish city. I wanted to hear my higher-self whisper ‘happy new year’ to me that day. I swooshed into a deep meditative state as I let my muscles relax from my little toe to the top of my always-wondering head. Somehow I knew, that moment there would be one of the catalysts to my spiritual expansion within the emotional field.

Emotions have been my stumbling blocks for quite some time actually. I had this ongoing lesson about feeling my way through things until I finally started to get it. To get softer. To become the light in between the hidden cliffs. To become the nurturing character in all areas of my life, not just in business. That meant shedding my old skin of the ‘strong woman’. Oh, the painful ripping of that layer of old patterns. There was no longer this masculine lady who would burst out in an angry monologue about what women should really do and how it had been so overdue to rise up, speak up, act up. What was beneath that old skin, was this caring woman who wanted to share her energy with another soul whom she knew for centuries. So as I closed my eyes to start meditating myself into 2020, I felt this eruption of acceptance and joy spreading through my cells.

I was ready to step into the gates of my destiny. I was given a choice to leap or flow slowly. I didn’t hesitate. With a sharp turn, I walked away from flowing. I wanted the speed, the thrill, the explosion of experiences. And I wanted them to circle around two aspects of my life: career and relationships. I got more than what I expected for both. Life led me down a path that was ending at the door of destiny for both of these. I was already past the gates, now it was the doors that I had to bust through. With a heartful kick, I first kicked down the career door. I finally felt the courage to start my own business instead of waiting around to feel ready. Fire came back into my soul as soon as I gave my attention and love to mind my own business. I brought myself to the forefront. The raw and real self that had been carving those questions in my whole being for years. But what happened next was not what I expected at all.

I imagined my career would magically transform and I’d become a spiritual entrepreneur overnight. My days would be mainly filled with business activities and smashing it out there. Instead, I ended up saying yes to a random road trip with my friends in mid-February. Honestly, how could I have known that that road was also leading me to my destiny? All I wanted was a quick break from spending 10+ hours on my laptop trying to change the world. And then it happened. It was another level of manifesting. The second I heard his voice, something shook in me. A buried part of my soul just got abruptly woken up and started screaming at me: it’s him! There he is! I shushed that voice. No, not now, I’m only here to take a break. I wasn’t looking for this. Maybe not consciously but a deep part of my heart knew that my manifestation was just about to burst open in front of my eyes in this tiny seaside town on the east coast of Spain.

How could I have known that the next morning I would wake up in the arms of this soul-feeder? Nevertheless, I did. I woke up next to him and today, 2 years later, I’m grateful that I chose the leap route. So whatever gates you stand in front of, know this: it’s worth to leap.

Sri Lanka Unawatuna sunset

Book in progress: All roads lead to Ohm II

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Chapter III

Choose carefully

(When trying to find myself meant loosing myself.)


As I was sitting on the terrace of our jungle home, surrounded by beautiful nature I couldn’t understand why I felt so empty inside. Not just empty but I couldn’t really feel anything at all.

I wasn’t sad nor was I struggling with depression. I knew too well what that felt like as I battled through it in my early twenties when I still lived in the UK. But that’s another story. This time around I just felt sort of numb emotionally and it really frustrated me mentally. I knew that this is not the real me, not the cheerful, life-loving, always-a-bit-too-excited me. So who was me? Why did I allow myself to sunk into this mental state?

One thing you probably need to know about me: I tend to live too much inside my head. Even though I would like to think I function based on intuition, that’s just a side effect of when I truly commit to working on myself. In reality I’m in a constant battle between logic and feelings. And by feelings I mean that little stomach-turning gut feeling we all have inside us that we know we should really listen to. Sometimes we refer to it as the voice in our head. See why it gets confusing?

Gut feeling = voice in our head. Thinking = feeling. Thinking vs feeling.

We separate the two when in fact they are the same. Depending on your belief system you might feel comfortable with one or the other. And a lot has to do with it in spiritual terms as well, sorry to break this to you. If you resonate more with consciousness, metaphysics, eastern philosophies you are most likely locate your “inner guidance” somewhere near your brain, your mind, your thinking. If you are more aligned with the principles of ancient teachings or mainstream religion then you’re likely to feel closer to that gut feeling ideology.

Let me say one thing as a disclaimer here: I definitely have no evidence on this theory, I haven’t done any research nor there is any scientific proof of this. It’s nothing but what that little something inside me is telling me. You decide if it is my gut feeling or the voice in my head. All I’m trying to tell you is that you don’t need to fully understand what that thing is. If it sits well with you, then go with it. Don’t care what others will think about it, no one else is going to live your life the way you do. It’s yours to play with.

So there I was, surrounded with palm trees, sunny days in winter time, watching monkeys jumping from one tree to another, yet I felt nothing. I have to tell you, I really tried. I tried to admire all of that, to notice the beauty in the little things, they were just not getting through to me. I had some kind of a shield that kept away joy from bursting through into my emotions. At the time I didn’t understand the reason, it took me about 4-5 months to be able to realise what was happening within me. Let this be a little reminder that life works that way. We tend to understand its events backwards, once they are in the past is when we truly get where certain things were leading us to or what they were teaching us. What I realised those crucial 4-5 months later was that my entire mindset was pulled into another state by the influence of an another human being. Unintentionally. He didn’t mean to bring me down with him however it still happened without me realising it at the time. Was it his fault? Not at all. I choose to be there and I allowed him to drain the fun out of me. Now I understand why but this is where this story gets important for you. What you surround yourself with will have a major impact on your life. Be it a friendship, a relationship, a situation, a job, a location, whatever it is, it will contribute to how you feel about yourself and how you look at life.

The good news is that you have all the power to remove yourself from certain environments. If something is not serving you, you can make adjustments to be where you really want to be mentally and emotionally. Is it scary? Hell yes. Is it worth it? Only if you want to have an enjoyable ride on this planet. So choose carefully.

2018: the year of transformation

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2018 has been the most eventful year so far that shaped me on so many levels. As I rewind the events in my mind I wonder how I managed to push myself through all these experiences with a genuine smile on my face. This year has definitely been a wild ride and I’m so grateful for its teachings. All that happened made me shed my skin and made me reborn time after time. Just when I thought my transformation has fully completed another layer of old skin emerged ready for shredding. I learnt to detach, to let go, to allow life to flow, to trust my intuition, to believe in myself. I taught others to love themselves, to dare to follow their dreams and to be courageous to jump into new experiences. And by others I also mean the other side of myself.

I started the year by facing my true feelings and allowing them to come to the surface. Acknowledge, observe then release and let go. I let go of connections, situations, ideas and created space for new meaningful opportunities.

I turned within to align myself.

I faced my fears and dealt with unresolved issues which were rooted so deep that it took multiple attempts to shovel them up. Went through the darkest days to arrive at the brighter side of my life. I learnt that real self-work is not all about smiles. This part of my development journey was the most painful one yet it brought the most positive results with it.

I cut myself free from negative vibes and removed myself from situations that I no longer resonated with. I made a conscious decision that from now on I will not settle for anything less than authentic happiness. All or nothing. No illusions, no games, no masks, no pretense. If I can’t be my true self then that situation or connection doesn’t belong to my path.

I followed my dreams. I travelled.

Travelled to expand my mind. I visited 22 cities in 9 countries. Can’t even count how many beautiful souls I met along these trips who opened my eyes and shared their ideas and life stories with me. I smiled, cried, laughed, hugged when I felt like. I was in awe, I was curious, experienced childish joy, felt the pain of others but most importantly I wore my true self as my costume.

I spent more time with my family and friends, created moments together that filled my soul with love and gratitude. I loved deeply and received so much pure love that I will be ever so grateful for.

Wonderful people kept on turning up in my life. As if they were orchestrated to pop up along my journey. I received wisdom, healing, knowledge, power, understanding and guidance from them. Self-mirroring individuals kept on shining their light into my soul. My connections with my existing tribe became concrete strong.

2018 has been the most eventful year so far because I took action.

I went straight into new experiences.

Got lost in forests multiple times.
Drove a quad bike.
Saw wild elephants.
Met with starseeds.
Stared at the Moon way too many times.
Witnessed countless mesmerising sunsets.
Shared magical moments with a warrior.
Played with energy.
Drove a speed boat and broke down in the middle of sea.
Meditated with a monk in the mountains.
Quit my job.
Closed off a big chapter in my life.
Canoed in a lagoon.
Left the country I called home to move into uncertainty.
Had precognitive dreams.
Enjoyed delicious food.
Volunteered whenever I could.

It is vital to also recognise some of the things I DIDN’T do that helped me become a better person:

Didn’t cause harm with the information I know.
Didn’t manipulate others even when I had the chance.
Didn’t play tactical games even though it resulted in a disadvantage for me financially.
Didn’t expect others to create my own happiness.
Didn’t allow my ego to sabotage my inner guidance.
Didn’t promise anything I knew I couldn’t keep.

This has definitely been an incredibly transformational year. My biggest lesson in 2018 was something quite simple though.

I realised that true love doesn’t need to be defined and categorised. Love has so many variations, layers and forms. It has the power to turn someone’s day around, to turn someone’s life around. Generating from self love we can brighten up this world with all kinds of love. I realised that spreading kindness within humanity is the most beautiful type of love.

A couple of years ago I wrote down what my ultimate goal is in my life:

to bring more smiles into this world.

I feel that I’ve done as much as I could to achieve that in 2018 and my goal in 2019 remains the same. Having this power to make another person smile, to make ourselves smile, to make the collective smile is something that we all have within us. The choice is yours to join me on my mission 🙂

2018

Happiness really is an inside job

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You wanted me to go for my dreams.

You pushed me to have faith in myself.

When I doubted myself you reminded me what I’m capable of.

When I felt confused you calmed me down and taught me that life is perfectly fine as it is unfolding in front of my eyes.

You encouraged me to never give up, to get up when I fell and you gave me strength to walk with more confidence.

It’s because of you that I accepted my faults and learnt to face my fears.

You were the one who showed me strength by being vulnerable.

You made me realise who I really am with masks off. You helped me love the unmasked person.

When I felt that my world had been shattered into a thousand pieces, you were there to pick them up piece by piece.

You: my true and authentic self who has always been there to guide me.

 

Happiness really comes from within. Listening to our gut feeling, inner voice or whatever you want to call it. Shredding away the false layers of myself lead me to a state to realise this.

Trust your own vision, your own message and give yourself some genuine love. Life will do the rest.

Random encounters to inspire us

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I mentioned this before that being able to inspire another human being is what keeps me all fuelled up (read more about it here). However we all need to be inspired by others as well especially on days when perhaps it takes greater effort to stay positive and motivated. We all have our own down days / dark days / low days whatever you prefer to call them, and all it matters is how you pull yourself through them. It’s ok to feel this way every now and then and what I learnt is to not beat myself up for feeling this way occasionally. They say, a rainbow comes after a storm and it’s time to accept that sometimes we need to go through that storm.

The difference is though how we go through it: do we make a conscious decision that ‘ok I need this right now to learn and develop’ or do we just let it drag us down? It only depends on your attitude, nobody else’s. And the funniest thing is if you choose the first option then somehow you’ll always end up with some guidance, you just need to trust your gut instinct and pay attention to what’s really happening around you.

Inspiration can come in many forms. Either you read about someone who seems to have their shit together (excuse my language) or it seems to be a random encounter. I had one of these ‘random’ encounters with Mateo Melichar, founder of Fit Budd. Against all odds we met, had a meaningful conversation that lead to a friendship where we constantly motivate and inspire each other. Because we’re not in each others’ daily lives we can genuinely give each other more unbiased advice. We see things from the outside point of view which is exactly what is needed to be able to give a kick in the butt and make us reflect on our own actions and visions.

I encourage you to find such a connection, a mentorship, a friendship, whatever you want to call it. Get yourself surrounded with people who inspire you and you can inspire to. It’s fantastic to have your close circle of your own support system and if you can add at least one person to that who will be able to give you some ‘no bullshit’ advice then do it.

From my personal experience all I can say that this kind of connection is priceless. Pushing each other to achieve our greatest potential is a gift that I never knew I needed. Find that friend, that honest voice, that consultant, that inspiration.

The truth hurts

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The truth hurts. We heard this phrase so many times but did we really pay attention to it? Why does the truth hurt? Why does it have to hurt? If we could live in a way when we are not pretending, not wearing masks, would the truth still hurt?

This is not a modern day expression so that brings me to a conclusion that the truth has always been hidden somehow. Shielded from the masses, buried deep within luminescent caves inside us. Yes, inside us. You read that right. When something hurts it’s because we associate it with ourselves. We take it personal. All we can think of is “that’s not fair” or “that’s not right” or “why me”. Oh, if I hear one more person crying out loud one more time “why me” I seriously need to resists laughing out loud and not hurt their feelings.

It took me a lot of effort and countless of self-analysis sessions to realise this: being untruthful makes me sick, not just to my stomach (that’s another expression I could analyse for hours) but to my whole being. I cannot pretend, I cannot play along, I just simply cannot act that it’s ok to accept illusions. Somehow my eyes opened and what I see sends me into a ‘question everything’ state. 80 – 90% of what surrounds me is pure bullshit. Excuse my language, but I’ve had enough.

I want to see people for who they are. Not who they portray to be. I want to be able to show my own real face to the world more often. This truth, that burns within us will erupt eventually one by one. And then how much of it will hurt for those who live in a fake reality? Who knows… but I’m certain that I can’t keep smiling at the face of illusion anymore.

Complete equality

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Instead of a long inspirational message to women this year, I’m speaking to men on International Women’s Day. Why? Because so many women have already woken up my friends and they’re doing their thing: being outspoken, achieving their goals and dealing with everyday sexism without whinging. Simply we’re getting on with what we want and dusting off our shoulders after facing challenges. Keep on going ladies!

Dear men,

I’m grateful to those of you who treat a person as another human being despite their gender. Those of you who are not afraid to speak up when sexism takes place. Those of you who raise your daughters making sure she can become whoever she wants to be, encouraging her to get her full potential. Those of you who stand by your sisters and mothers to get their voices heard. Those men who are capable of adapting to change and realise that for a very long time women were repressed. They have started to rise only 100 years ago. That’s not a very long time considering that we’re writing 2018…I’m thankful that there is a change taking place and I can live in an era to be part of it. As this change is still ongoing and even though we have come a long way there’s still plenty of space for improvement.

Complete equality means to me, personally, that we all get to play this game, called life, with the same opportunities no matter what your gender is. No anger towards each other but instead why not collaborate and lift each other up? Who cares what was the ‘norm’ for men and for women?

I say, every living person should have the freedom to do what they want. Doesn’t matter what that is and whether you’re a woman or a man. We need to have the freedom of choice to decide how we want to live our lives. Excuse my language but fuck gender associated ‘norms’! Go get out there and do your best based on what YOU want. And that’s that.

 

 

So here I am, digging (Wrinkles of happiness)

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21.02.2018

I simply love that feeling when I know I inspired someone. It’s been like this for a few years now but never really decided to dig deep and find out the reason why I enjoy this. I’m in a phase right now when I question everything. I believe that this is a good state to be to learn and develop. Understanding not only our actions but our emotional reactions is key to become a slightly bit better than who we were yesterday. So here I am, digging.

What is that trigger buried deep within my soul that makes me want to see other people smile, to charge up, to be full of life? Why does it make me feel like that I’m full of energy when I achieve to have someone else buzz like how I usually do? I want to see people taking on their everyday life like how the character Tigger does. It’s a strange comparison, I know, but for some reason that’s the character I resonate with the most. Bouncing around with joy and excitement for life.

Enjoying the smallest things and being able to fully appreciate the so-called common things in life.

Yes, I can be completely amazed by the sight of a clear starry sky or seeing someone sing to themselves at the airport while we are being delayed. Seeing a puppy jumping around their owner with unconditional love. An old couple being silent next to each other with wrinkles of happiness across their faces. Getting a cup of coffee served with a genuine smile. Seeing a line of trees along the main road. Admiring the curved up trunk of a tree growing out of concrete. The setting Sun colouring in the playful clouds in orange.

These little things that we walk past every day… This is what makes life a wonderful experience. And most of these things happen naturally. We just don’t always notice them.

I’m not needed to help the tree make its way out of concrete. I didn’t cause that orange shade on the clouds. But! I could contribute towards the wrinkles on someone else’s face. To make sure that they are happy wrinkles. If I can do that, if I have the power to do that, then I will. That’s what we have control over: to make this journey a joyful one.

 

Science vs. spirituality

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Encrypted messages are running through my mind. The more I decipher them the deeper into the darkness I go. With each sentence I’m pulling myself further down. I wonder how can the majority of people be so oblivious to their lives? How can they simply smile and not question their fulfilment? Most likely I’m the one who will get stamped with the ‘strange’ title.

Why am I seeking a meaning, a purpose and why am I breaking my brain cells trying to analyse what the hell I’m supposed to learn? Yes, I accepted that life gives me exactly what I need, yet I can’t comprehend to make it fit into the chain of events that’s called my life. Using some rationale thinking I know that the epiphany of understanding is always delayed. But this is when I break my brain a bit. I do know that time as we know it is an illusion. It’s not linear. So if it’s not linear then how can I be certain that the understanding is ‘delayed’? Delayed means that something happens at a later time. If there is no linearity then how can something be delayed? This paradox gives me a headache.

I’m fighting an ambivalent battle within me: science versus spirituality. These two must collide and eventually align. So many heavy truths came out of both fields. I simply don’t believe that they were meant to be looked at from two separate angles. There must be a degree where they sit together, pointing to an even bigger truth. And that truth somehow lies within me, I just can’t figure it out yet.

Every time I ponder what my greater purpose is in this life, I somehow end up here. Trying to mix science with spiritual thinking. Science is logical, factual, it gives some sort of structure. It’s black and white. Spirituality gives it some life. Some colours. It colours in the facts.

An even greater headache kicks in and I even end up struggling from dizziness. I’m starting to feel frustrated as I can’t bring this knowledge to surface.