Tag Archives: love

Time for change

While it is great seeing that I have connections with generous people whom are posting about the donations they are making towards charities during this period, it makes me wonder: why is it that we need a reason like Christmas to do this? And before you call me hypocrite, yes I am just as guilty as they are. It was only this morning that I transferred some money to a bank account of a charity supporting people with mental health issues. It makes me question myself as well: why don’t I have this urge to give back in May? In August? I could now stand up for myself and say that actually I do, which is true, however I have to admit that I am definitely more generous this time of the year. I wish we could somehow drag this attitude out to last 12 months rather than 2 weeks per year.

So for those of us who plan our goals for the following year: how about using this inspiration we feel right now to reflect in our next year’s plans? How about making a conscious decision that instead of the peak of our giving-back in December to be spread over 12 months? Maybe it won’t make a huge difference…at first. But! If at least some of us will start this new habit, eventually others will follow as we have the power to influence by showing an example.

So I start. I hereby publicly declare that from 2018 onwards I will be paying more attention to helping out the ones in need. It doesn’t matter how we do it: either by paying for someone else’s meal, donating our time to a charity, helping out someone with a challenge, telling someone how wonderful they really are, getting behind a volunteer organisation’s objective or simply letting someone jump the queue because they can’t miss their flight. Whatever it is, if it will make another person smile for a while then it is worth it.

My personal goal for 2018 is simply to bring more smiles into this world. Because it will just make it a better place to live in for all of us 🙂

If you agree with this then I encourage you to spread the message. And I don’t mean just by sharing this. Yes that would help getting this out to as many of us as possible so I will be grateful if you do it, but I also encourage you to at least try to adapt a similar attitude that suits YOUR life. #timeforchange

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Match lit up

Too Real

I decided to let go and enjoy the “realness” a while ago. This little piece was born while I was resisting to believe that it could be true. 

I’m scared to the point that I just compared my state of mind to a fish being caught on a hook. It’s too late to swim away now and I honestly don’t want to, however there is that sceptical side of me again. It’s trying to break through my sanity, my rational thinking to aggressively put out that twinkling little flame. I’m fighting the doubts, the unrealistic disbelief.

I’ve waited so long to finally let myself go and moments after I did it, for some unknown reason I’m trying to destroy all the hard work. I’m questioning whether I’m subconsciously enjoying this battle, whether I have a sick, twisted mind that’s letting out a satisfied laugh. But I come to the conclusion that no, I do not enjoy this. I want to go back to the previous moment where all seemed to fall into place. Where I felt I was finally in a place I’ve been trying to find for months. The home of my soul. Content, relaxed and truthful. With a permanent smile stretched across my soul and heart. I’m probably scared because I know that this is actually very real.

Let it be real, let it be scary, let it be exciting. I feel alive suddenly and that’s what is so scary.

Change of plans

I never planned this to happen. Didn’t even imagine or wanted it to go this way and even as it started happening I was still running away from it. Why? I just didn’t believe that this could turn into something so real. All I wanted was one night of passionate fun. Pure physical satisfaction. Exactly one year ago that’s what I thought would happen: spending one night with you and waving you goodbye in the morning with post-sex messed up hair.

Instead, I found someone who makes me feel alive, who I crave from the deepest parts of my soul. Someone who makes me smile when I see his name pop up on my phone’s screen. Someone whom I have fallen madly in love with for the way he is without wanting to change anything about him. This whole thing feels so natural, comfortable, so relaxing yet very exciting.

I’m generally not a romantic kind of girl but somehow you make me want to tell you just how much you mean to me. How I can’t imagine spending a day without writing you ‘bongu’ or call you a ‘mignun’ at least once a day. Let me try to explain myself a bit better: it’s like I was running around at a high speed, aimlessly without a destination in my mind when suddenly you held my hand that made me come to a full stop. It wasn’t just me who stopped. Every time you kiss me or look into my eyes, I forget that there is a whole world around us. You made the Universe stop. And I can’t imagine doing anything better than standing still with you, holding your hand while the rest of the world is running around in chaos. I know we didn’t arrive to this place in a simple or traditional way but guess what? I think that’s what I like the most. Against all the odds we still arrived here.

I’m so grateful that this didn’t go as I originally planned it. Thank you for being as amazing as you are.