Category Archives: Motivational

Time for change

While it is great seeing that I have connections with generous people whom are posting about the donations they are making towards charities during this period, it makes me wonder: why is it that we need a reason like Christmas to do this? And before you call me hypocrite, yes I am just as guilty as they are. It was only this morning that I transferred some money to a bank account of a charity supporting people with mental health issues. It makes me question myself as well: why don’t I have this urge to give back in May? In August? I could now stand up for myself and say that actually I do, which is true, however I have to admit that I am definitely more generous this time of the year. I wish we could somehow drag this attitude out to last 12 months rather than 2 weeks per year.

So for those of us who plan our goals for the following year: how about using this inspiration we feel right now to reflect in our next year’s plans? How about making a conscious decision that instead of the peak of our giving-back in December to be spread over 12 months? Maybe it won’t make a huge difference…at first. But! If at least some of us will start this new habit, eventually others will follow as we have the power to influence by showing an example.

So I start. I hereby publicly declare that from 2018 onwards I will be paying more attention to helping out the ones in need. It doesn’t matter how we do it: either by paying for someone else’s meal, donating our time to a charity, helping out someone with a challenge, telling someone how wonderful they really are, getting behind a volunteer organisation’s objective or simply letting someone jump the queue because they can’t miss their flight. Whatever it is, if it will make another person smile for a while then it is worth it.

My personal goal for 2018 is simply to bring more smiles into this world. Because it will just make it a better place to live in for all of us 🙂

If you agree with this then I encourage you to spread the message. And I don’t mean just by sharing this. Yes that would help getting this out to as many of us as possible so I will be grateful if you do it, but I also encourage you to at least try to adapt a similar attitude that suits YOUR life. #timeforchange

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time for change

Hide and Seek

Finding yourself is a tricky little game that many of us tend to give up only after a couple of trials. What is it that we seek? What are we expecting to find?

I used to chase around this wild thought inside my head that the more I learn, the more I analyse, the quicker I can jump up and shout: “Got ya!”. Wrong. I eventually realised that I was looking in the wrong place all along…

Imagine trying to find your house keys inside your jacket pockets when you actually remember (you know) that you left them on the kitchen table.  You locked yourself out, you did this to yourself. Despite knowing deep within that your keys are hiding inside your home, you still desperately want to believe that you’ll find them in one of those pockets. Frustration kicks in gradually, you’re shaking that poor jacket, rolling your eyes while exhaling loudly. Then you suddenly come to a full stop. You let acceptance climb through your system. Slowing down your breathing, making your pupils come back to their regular size. The panic evaporates, the shivering stops and the corners of your lips slowly start to curl upwards. You sigh out a genuine laugh.

The truth finally hits you and that moment, right there, makes you remember where to really look for. Yes, the door still might be locked, but why haven’t you noticed that open window next to it until just now? Your keys have been inside all this time and instead of finding a way to get there, you had a tantrum on the outside. Am I trying to create a metaphor here? Perhaps, but I let you decide.

All I want to say to you is this: grab that key and open that freaking door finally, will you?

Self-expression 101

I noticed that there is a new function on my Facebook profile. It says ‘Introduce yourself’ to show a bit about myself to my profile visitors. It is prompting me to ‘Describe who you are’. I am given 101 characters to do this. The end of my previous sentence already clocks in at 184 characters, without counting any spaces. How can I truly explain who or ‘what’ I am in such a limited manner? Have we really become so ignorant and lazy that we can’t pay attention to more than 101 characters when we are describing who we really are and what makes us ‘us’?

In addition to the extremely reduced attention span of the “modern human” another thing seriously bothers me. Is it just me who thinks that limiting what we want to say about ourselves will just encourage people to sum up the nicest, most amazing facts that will create another fake sparkle? Isn’t it bad enough that so many people already portray a false image of themselves on social media? I truly wish that we could all be a bit more humble, honest and truthful about ourselves when it comes to our online presence. At the end of the day, digital life has taken over a gigantic chunk of our actual life. It has become part of who we are.

So who am I in 101 characters? Outspoken. Positive. Witty. Clumsy. Thought-challenger. Creative. Occasionally funny. Coffee lover. Rain hater. Confident.

Assumptions

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Almost perfect – she thought sitting outside of the coffee shop where people were queuing for home made carrot cakes, non-fat lattes, full fat cappuccinos and everything else we are told to buy but can’t really afford. She took a sip of her freshly ground Italian coffee as she observed the crowd through her overpriced sunglasses. Her chair was facing the main square providing an excellent view of the street musician who was surrounded by that crowd she now decided to be unexciting. The musician however caught her full attention.

Her mind immediately started playing a movie starring her and the gorgeous guitar player.

“Marco what is this?”
“This for you mio amore, you can wear it around your beautiful neck, so I will always be close to your heart. See this? It says Dolce Vita. Do you know what that means?”

A young waitress interrupted her daydreaming waving in front of her face, asking if she needed anything else. She looked at the inpatient girl and shook her head without saying a word, and showed her the well known sign for ‘Bill please’ which increased the waitress’ blood pressure drastically.

“I can’t believe this woman” – the offended waitress whispered to her colleagues ear, taking her anger out on the till.
“Look at her, I’m sure she’s not even 30 but she acts like if she had the same life as the Queen; just because she’s got it all she could have said a thank you or at least something. What a stuck up bitch, I wish I had spit in her coffee.”

“Come on Kate don’t be like that”

“What? Like her? Oh look, look ‘I’ve been shopping at Swarovski, I need more ear-rings, doesn’t matter I have only two ears I have to have a hundred of these.’”

“Just give her the bill and no spitting!”. Kate forced on a perfect fake smile they teach in customer service workshops and leaving her pride at the till she walked over to the Queen wannabe and placed the bill on the table.

“€28.99? Mm not too bad” – thinking as she opened her wallet to get some money out. Next to the stack of €20 and €50 notes a shiny business card caught her attention:  Lali Bronson – divorce lawyer. “I need to stop putting this off, I’ll contact her this evening. Oh… no email address, only phone numbers” – she tore up the card and left it next to her bill, placing more money on the table than the waitress deserved. She rummaged through her handbag, looking for a pencil to leave a note for the waitress.

Her friend arrived just when she finished writing. As they walked away she told her how amazing the coffee was – by using sign language.

 

Steering wheel, driving

Expect the best

Expectations. Are they hopeful illusions force fed to the mind or pre-warmed up blankets covering reality? Either way they are needed as much as oxygen to our lungs otherwise we suffocate through life.

Some say it’s best not to expect anything so that you don’t get to experience the darkness of disappointment. The hollow space that we all try to navigate away from: seeking alternative routes and strictly keeping our eyes on the destination. One wrong turn, one incompetent driver or simply one fault with the engine will result in crashing right into this unwanted place. It surely is high risk but without it we don’t have the map – and no, I’m not talking about life. No one will give you a map of your life. We all draw ours as we go, however I prefer to make mine to be more like a treasure hunt. And I’m sure you do too because every second that we get to have is worth more than any diamonds and gold.

Every moment you experience whether to be painful or pleasant is a gift that you should treasure because it becomes a tiny puzzle piece that will build YOU. So cherish it and keep your expectations but let them become your motivation. And when someone drives you off your route just kick them out of the driving seat and take the wheel.

Remember: you will not deliberately disappoint yourself but others might do that for you. Have your expectations based on yourself and don’t rely on anyone else to control your emotions. It’s all in your hands and THAT is your map.

Face with clocks

Twenty – four

We travel through our lives every day. Some of us get on a delayed train, some get stuck at a red light in our cars and some just sit on the sofa flicking through all the international channels while staring at the shiny illusion on the wall (you might call it the TV). We seem to have forgotten how to sit still and take pleasure of it. Not out of boredom, not because we’ve been told to do it but purely because we desire it. We spend hours chasing after routines, giving in to habits and choosing the easy option of following the crowd.

Then we spend about a third of our day earning money so that we can buy all the things that we don’t need but must possess. Things that we firmly believe will make us feel happy. And in fact they do have that effect on us for a few minutes, hours or depending on the purchase maybe days. Never years though. We never get the same excitement that we feel when ripping the packaging open. So we go and get our things and then carry on with our routine. And when the end of the day arrives we take a look back and say something like “such a busy day” or “I still have to do this tomorrow”.

Those 24 hours are nothing but a sample sized life. Make yours exciting. Stop the excuses.

Masks

Camouflaged souls

Wearing different masks can be exhausting. You get confused which one you need to put on or you get so used to some of them that you forget to take them off. People around you do not love you; they love your choice of cover-up. That’s what they see and that’s what they remember when thinking of you. It’s like when you get a wrapped up present and you’re not allowed to open it. You love the wrapping paper, the shininess of the ribbons, the shape of the gift. You don’t know what it’s hiding inside, yet you are so happy with what you see. Take in the falsified information and enjoy the illusion.

And there comes a time when you put on the wrong mask or forget to wear one. Confusion. Demolition. Realisation. They catch a glimpse of your true self and learn that all their beliefs have been a daydream, a
fantasy. You can’t erase the damage, the frustration.

Why can’t you accept who you really are behind that entire masquerade? Just be yourself and show your true face. Be brave enough to show the world all you’ve got without the disguise.