2018 has been the most eventful year so far that shaped me on so many levels. As I rewind the events in my mind I wonder how I managed to push myself through all these experiences with a genuine smile on my face. This year has definitely been a wild ride and I’m so grateful for its teachings. All that happened made me shed my skin and made me reborn time after time. Just when I thought my transformation has fully completed another layer of old skin emerged ready for shredding. I learnt to detach, to let go, to allow life to flow, to trust my intuition, to believe in myself. I taught others to love themselves, to dare to follow their dreams and to be courageous to jump into new experiences. And by others I also mean the other side of myself.
I started the year by facing my true feelings and allowing them to come to the surface. Acknowledge, observe then release and let go. I let go of connections, situations, ideas and created space for new meaningful opportunities.
I turned within to align myself.
I faced my fears and dealt with unresolved issues which were rooted so deep that it took multiple attempts to shovel them up. Went through the darkest days to arrive at the brighter side of my life. I learnt that real self-work is not all about smiles. This part of my development journey was the most painful one yet it brought the most positive results with it.
I cut myself free from negative vibes and removed myself from situations that I no longer resonated with. I made a conscious decision that from now on I will not settle for anything less than authentic happiness. All or nothing. No illusions, no games, no masks, no pretense. If I can’t be my true self then that situation or connection doesn’t belong to my path.
I followed my dreams. I travelled.
Travelled to expand my mind. I visited 22 cities in 9 countries. Can’t even count how many beautiful souls I met along these trips who opened my eyes and shared their ideas and life stories with me. I smiled, cried, laughed, hugged when I felt like. I was in awe, I was curious, experienced childish joy, felt the pain of others but most importantly I wore my true self as my costume.
I spent more time with my family and friends, created moments together that filled my soul with love and gratitude. I loved deeply and received so much pure love that I will be ever so grateful for.
Wonderful people kept on turning up in my life. As if they were orchestrated to pop up along my journey. I received wisdom, healing, knowledge, power, understanding and guidance from them. Self-mirroring individuals kept on shining their light into my soul. My connections with my existing tribe became concrete strong.
2018 has been the most eventful year so far because I took action.
I went straight into new experiences.
Got lost in forests multiple times.
Drove a quad bike.
Saw wild elephants.
Met with starseeds.
Stared at the Moon way too many times.
Witnessed countless mesmerising sunsets.
Shared magical moments with a warrior.
Played with energy.
Drove a speed boat and broke down in the middle of sea.
Meditated with a monk in the mountains.
Quit my job.
Closed off a big chapter in my life.
Canoed in a lagoon.
Left the country I called home to move into uncertainty.
Had precognitive dreams.
Enjoyed delicious food.
Volunteered whenever I could.
It is vital to also recognise some of the things I DIDN’T do that helped me become a better person:
Didn’t cause harm with the information I know.
Didn’t manipulate others even when I had the chance.
Didn’t play tactical games even though it resulted in a disadvantage for me financially.
Didn’t expect others to create my own happiness.
Didn’t allow my ego to sabotage my inner guidance.
Didn’t promise anything I knew I couldn’t keep.
This has definitely been an incredibly transformational year. My biggest lesson in 2018 was something quite simple though.
I realised that true love doesn’t need to be defined and categorised. Love has so many variations, layers and forms. It has the power to turn someone’s day around, to turn someone’s life around. Generating from self love we can brighten up this world with all kinds of love. I realised that spreading kindness within humanity is the most beautiful type of love.
A couple of years ago I wrote down what my ultimate goal is in my life:
to bring more smiles into this world.
I feel that I’ve done as much as I could to achieve that in 2018 and my goal in 2019 remains the same. Having this power to make another person smile, to make ourselves smile, to make the collective smile is something that we all have within us. The choice is yours to join me on my mission 🙂
Breathe. Just breathe. Slooooower. Wait. Exhale. OK. My fingers are not tingling anymore. Breathe. Focus. There’s a tree in front of that glass door. That will do. Branches, leaves, one, two, three…ahhh too many. Focus. Branches: one, two, three. It goes all the way to the top of the glass door. What are those stains on it? It could use a good cleaning. Cleaning! I left the dishes in the sink without rinsing them. It will be a nightmare scrubbing off the dried out tomato sauce. A nightmare? Come on, man…scrubbing dirty dishes is no nightmare. THIS is! Oh my God, how am I going to get there?
Breathe, breathe. Shit, my chest tightens up again. Tree, branches: one, two, three, four. This one has hardly any leaves. How many? Two, four, six, eight, nine, ten, eleven, thirteen, fifteen. Fifteen. OK. Now maybe I can stand up. Let’s give it another go. My wrist is sort of shaking as I push my hand to the ground trying to shift my body’s weight on one side and give it a little bounce up from this damp wooden crate. I force my thoughts not to question how much of the liquid seeped through my pores. It takes great effort not doing all the maths in my head: how many hours have I left to live? 12 tops, in best case. Ssshhhh. Do not calculate! Focus. Fifteen leaves, ignore the trembling muscles, get up now! Got it.
A rush of achievement runs through me. Who would have thought only one day ago that I’ll be doing a celebratory dance in my mind for being able to stand up. Fuck me. How did this happen? A guy like me celebrates when you trick the checkpoint scanner validating your tracker with yesterday’s date. Oh wait, I forgot to mention a couple of things.
I’m a bit of a rebel. Can’t help it. I broke the rules of the system twice already. So now I have to validate my whereabouts daily at least once with these scanning gates. I just call them checkpoints. What can I do? It is what it is, so at least let’s make it fun like a car racing game or something.
I’m very good at hacking their technology. Unbelievably good. Haha! Just by adding a little bit of extra lines of code to my tracker, I can backdate my scanning. If I missed one day, who cares? Tomorrow I’ll scan myself and their data will show that I did it the day before as well.
Now, the slightly problematic Fact #3:
When they figure out that you played the system, shit gets real. They track you down (see why they named it the tracker?), lock you inside a wooden box and pour this slimy blue liquid on you for a few hours. I haven’t figured out yet what the hell is in it but they refer to it as the Bluelightenment. Some call it Bluewash, like an ocean coloured brainwash. It’s supposed to slowly make its way into your body, to your bloodstream then to your nervous system. And then bamm, their magic happens and suddenly you never want to break any of their rules again. How? Goodbye to rebellious thoughts, goodbye to questioning anything and most disturbingly goodbye to your memories. You simply cease to exist as an individual with all the life experiences. So my heart may not physically stop within the next 12 hours but life as I know it will end.
Now, what should I do to make the most of these 12 hours? But first of all, where is the nearest checkpoint?
You wanted me to go for my dreams.
You pushed me to have faith in myself.
When I doubted myself you reminded me what I’m capable of.
When I felt confused you calmed me down and taught me that life is perfectly fine as it is unfolding in front of my eyes.
You encouraged me to never give up, to get up when I fell and you gave me strength to walk with more confidence.
It’s because of you that I accepted my faults and learnt to face my fears.
You were the one who showed me strength by being vulnerable.
You made me realise who I really am with masks off. You helped me love the unmasked person.
When I felt that my world had been shattered into a thousand pieces, you were there to pick them up piece by piece.
You: my true and authentic self who has always been there to guide me.
Happiness really comes from within. Listening to our gut feeling, inner voice or whatever you want to call it. Shredding away the false layers of myself lead me to a state to realise this.
Trust your own vision, your own message and give yourself some genuine love. Life will do the rest.
I mentioned this before that being able to inspire another human being is what keeps me all fuelled up (read more about it here). However we all need to be inspired by others as well especially on days when perhaps it takes greater effort to stay positive and motivated. We all have our own down days / dark days / low days whatever you prefer to call them, and all it matters is how you pull yourself through them. It’s ok to feel this way every now and then and what I learnt is to not beat myself up for feeling this way occasionally. They say, a rainbow comes after a storm and it’s time to accept that sometimes we need to go through that storm.
The difference is though how we go through it: do we make a conscious decision that ‘ok I need this right now to learn and develop’ or do we just let it drag us down? It only depends on your attitude, nobody else’s. And the funniest thing is if you choose the first option then somehow you’ll always end up with some guidance, you just need to trust your gut instinct and pay attention to what’s really happening around you.
Inspiration can come in many forms. Either you read about someone who seems to have their shit together (excuse my language) or it seems to be a random encounter. I had one of these ‘random’ encounters with Mateo Melichar, founder of Fit Budd. Against all odds we met, had a meaningful conversation that lead to a friendship where we constantly motivate and inspire each other. Because we’re not in each others’ daily lives we can genuinely give each other more unbiased advice. We see things from the outside point of view which is exactly what is needed to be able to give a kick in the butt and make us reflect on our own actions and visions.
I encourage you to find such a connection, a mentorship, a friendship, whatever you want to call it. Get yourself surrounded with people who inspire you and you can inspire to. It’s fantastic to have your close circle of your own support system and if you can add at least one person to that who will be able to give you some ‘no bullshit’ advice then do it.
From my personal experience all I can say that this kind of connection is priceless. Pushing each other to achieve our greatest potential is a gift that I never knew I needed. Find that friend, that honest voice, that consultant, that inspiration.