Category Archives: Deep-thinking

She saw the truth

15.08.2019

She wanted to run towards her shadow. She wanted to run straight through it, to be able to finally see it behind her. She wanted it so badly that she failed to realise just how absurd this plan was. She ran, she jumped, she crawled, she tip-toed, yet it was always unreachable. Untouchable. It was part of her and wherever she went it was attached to her. The only time she came close to conquer this mystical shadow of herself was in the darkness. No Moonlight, no lamps, no candles just pure blackness. She didn’t see it, wherever she looked. At first, it didn’t matter to her that she saw nothing else either. Yet deep down within herself she knew it was still there, with her. She could feel it.

There’s something you need to know about her.

Not succeeding at getting what she set her mind on was her biggest dislike. Her determination was dangerously dancing across the lines of stubbornness. She truly believed that our limits were meant to be pushed and extended.

So when she couldn’t see her shadow in the darkness, she instinctively wanted to check off this task in her mind as a successful completion. Then in that exact moment the heavy clouds of the night sky suddenly moved along uncovering the bright Moon and all the shadows that came with it. She looked up with a frown on her face and then she saw it. That luminous lonely star slapped onto the black skyline shining its way through the darkness. Who knows how many light years away from her, it was somehow smirking down at her.

There is one more thing you need to know about her.

Just as much she disliked not succeeding, just as much she adored the sparkly stars of the Universe.

She wanted to run away from her own shadow, her own darkness, when she realised it was the same darkness that made it possible for her to see the beauty of the night sky light up. That one star in particular she saw that night.

She saw the light within the darkness.

She saw the truth.

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Book in progress: All roads lead to Ohm

Chapter III

Recap of past years

Looking back on my last few years, even I feel a little surprised how much happened to me. I went through so many experiences and my life changed so often that most people don’t experience this much change in an entire lifetime. While I was in the middle of the process of each situation that was shaping the path of my life, I didn’t realise just how transformational these events were. We need to stop every once in a while to evaluate what we went through and how we improved or what we achieved.


I used to have a tendency to not recognise my own success, to not pat myself on the back occasionally. It didn’t feel right for me to do that. I didn’t want to put myself on the pedestal as I was constantly fighting against my ego and I was consciously trying to dissociate from it, to shatter it into pieces. Once I understood that our ego needs to be understood and managed, not completely destroyed, I realised that I didn’t give myself enough credit. I didn’t know my real worth, I repeatedly ‘undersold’ myself. Knowing your worth and the value you can bring is vital in every area of your life. Be it a job, a relationship or a social commitment, you need to understand where you can position yourself. Not from a superficial point of view as in how others see you and what you portray yourself as but to fully understand where you are standing along your journey. How much knowledge you have, how much value you can add and how you can serve best.


At the end of the day, if you live your life to the full then it’s all about service. That doesn’t mean you need to be in a subordinate role, no not at all. Serving others, serving a community, serving a cause and most importantly serving to fulfil your own desires. These are the things that matter. Either from a business point of view or a personal inspiration, prioritising the service aspect of the process, you will achieve long-lasting results. For example, a business that truly puts customer satisfaction first will thrive within its competition as it will have happy customers who will not only return for more business but will also recommend the service or product happily to others. But hold on for a second, I got a bit side tracked with my story. I wanted to share with you how much happened to me in these past few years, that triggered my need for becoming ‘homeless’ for a while. To have no fixed address and just to go with the flow of life for a while. How I went from having the perfect life (on paper) to living out of a backpack because of that one thought on 4th April 2018. I was a CEO of a start company, I was living in a beautiful 2-bedroom apartment on my own, driving a BMW, ate in restaurants pretty much every day or had my food prepared and delivered to me, had some really good friends yet one day I said I’m not happy and threw my lifestyle away to seek some kind of meaning.


I was looking for some sort of revelation, a lesson, the ultimate purpose.

I was not happy with the ‘successful’ life that so many people only dream about. I had it all laid out in front of me yet it was not enough for some reason. It was lacking a mission, a purpose: what do I leave behind? What do I contribute? How do I inspire? How am I making this world a little bit better? My mind and soul were seeking answers, searching for something. Even I wasn’t sure what it was I was seeking. I just knew I had to change. I wanted to go into the opposite direction and start looking for something that I didn’t know what it was.

Double jointed circle

29/05/2018

Upside down
Round and round

The circle keeps rolling back to its starting point but now the shape looks different to me. It’s no longer a circle. It resembles more of an 8 shape. Double jointed circle bent in the middle into infinity. Cliché? Perhaps. Yet it doesn’t faze me.

Keep going, keep going, round and round, upside down.
Same thing. New perception.

It’s time

11/12/2018

Extending our 24-hour time restricted day…

So many people say ‘I don’t have time for that’. And it has been said numerous times before me that we have time for what we make time for. But. What if some of us don’t have the basic required means to do what we really would like to do? And I’m not talking about luxury experiences here. Taking a day off to relax our mind might not be possible for someone who works 7 days a week in an undeveloped country for such a low wage that is barely enough to cover survival needs. Going for dinner in a restaurant? Out of the question for these people. Yet they have such strength and calmness. They do not worry what tomorrow will bring because they only enjoy the present day. They’re grateful to experience today. Then another today and another until years have passed. These kind of people are scared to dream.

How can they develop an ambitious mindset when they don’t see any opportunities getting lost when suddenly coming their way? These people truly embrace every 24-hour, every moment, every millisecond. They cherish life. Their 24-hour feels longer. No, not because they are suffering, not at all. These people might live in poverty or a near poverty environment, yet they are happy. They appreciate the smallest things that most of us walk by. A genuine smile, the taste of ripe fruit, the smooth breeze on our skins, an honest conversation. Being fully present and fully experiencing every moment what extends their 24-hours.

The white fire

30/12/2016

Stop trying to organise your thoughts,
Trying too hard will not take you too far.
Simply let them float around inside your mind
But be prepared for what you might find
Are you truly ready to hear the truth?
Or are you still fighting your battle within you?

There is no right or wrong timing in your life,
How could it be when there is no time?

An illusion sucking us into a pattern,
Strapping us down so we fail to get better.
Break yourself free from these imaginary chains,
And accept that everything needs to change.
It won’t always be a fun, joyful process,
But know that it’s the only way to get to your fortress.

There is a tremendous amount of noise along this journey,
It’s your task to filter it out; can you feel the burning?

Let it burn you down to the ground where you belong.
The flames.
The smoke.
The brightness of the darkness.
The white fire.
Sweat drops.
Steaming.

Feel the ashes of your illusions slipping through your fingers,
Look at your biggest fear in the eyes as it lingers.

Now you’re ready to hear what you really need to.
Enjoy this peaceful void that you’re falling into.

Hidden symmetry

Hidden symmetry
Deep rooted hidden geometrical patterns can emerge from our daily events. Even for the trained eye it’s challenging to notice them. But once you catch a glimpse of it then magnificent truths can unfold.

Truths that were in front of us all along, yet we managed to keep our sight blind. What decides the timing of discovery? What process takes place within us that switches the latch to the ready position? Is it even an internal process? Or does something external rips off the blindfold from our forehead? Maybe the answers are not so clear. They are slightly morphed into each other creating a foggy environment. Mind-cloud. Add some emotions to the mix s well to find yourself at the gates of eternal questioning. Philosophical debates with yourself with no winning argument. It’s a forever-draw inside the mind-cloud.

How did we end up here? Let me recap.

Blindfold ripped off, searching for the how, feeling our way through emotions. Gates.

Should we want to take a sudden spin and start walking back away from here, we then realise that the path has vanished. No other options, must open the gates. One step at a time, one step at a time.

Wavelengths

Being on the same wavelength: such a descriptive expression. We only truly understand its meaning once we go through that experience. Feeling our way through that experience. Your rational mind falls deep into a shutdown to give space to the waves. Multiple waves floating individually at a slow pace, gently making their path of movement closer to each other into a complete alignment. Taking up the same shape and creating a peaceful pulsing so powerful that it melts time. Doesn’t just simply stop it, as when you stop something, it comes with a forced action. Whereas ‘melting it away’ is a continuous process. A steady change in the rhythm. A moment of expansion.
We know that cause and effect is inevitable even though we do not understand the effect yet however we are certain that there are or there will be consequences. Conquering that fear of consequences is a major step into our true selves. Our own individual selves. Every time we take another step, another alignment within us, we create more waves. These newly formed waves start pulsing together in complete harmony, strengthening the older, pre-existing waves. Building, expanding, learning and creating. And when we take a look at this process in a linear way, we will see that eventually the mutually created waves will outnumber the individual ones. Oneness without clichés and without forced actions.