Tag Archives: philosophy

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Remembering who I am

09.05.16

I started my day telling myself that today I will remember who I am. I know who I am and who I was. I will remember what I truly want. All day I was full of energy, I managed to get done what I usually would in 2-3 days (work-wise). Then at the end of my working day I felt a little mentally drained but I was still buzzing. Feeling calm and content. When I came home, I poured myself a glass of wine to enjoy it in my little garden while writing about my future, finalising my life goals. That’s when it hit me. Hard.

A roller-coaster of emotions. As I was forming each letter with my pen, I started remembering feelings. Excitement, disappointment, pain, hope, gratitude, extreme joyous happiness. Empathy for everything. Calmness. I grabbed another notebook to write about this intense experience. But how do I express such magnificent emotions? I simply can’t shove them into words and sentences.

It feels like if a tall building has just collapsed and the pieces have fallen into their “right” place. They created a brand new building that is so ancient at the same time, I’ve been looking at it for centuries. I lived inside this building, I just haven’t recognised it until now. From the deepest parts of my heart, I wish you dear reader to find your old-new building as well. The fact that you are reading this is already evidence that you are on the right path to discover it.

Throw away all the directions you’ve been given by others. No one else can lead you to this place. With that said, remain faithful. Have faith in yourself, your instincts, that feeling in your gut. Don’t chase it though. It will chase you instead when you’re ready and truly want it. I am now holding the key to the front door, so I say let’s step inside, shall we?

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My future memories

This is not a poem. This is aimed to be lyrics for a song. The only obstacle I have is the fact that I have no singing voice. Like nothing at all, unless you want to be tortured then get me to sing. So if you get inspired by my words then feel free to #singmylyrics and link back your video or recording.

Verse 1

Lyrical or hysterical

Fictional or mental

Shut your judgemental instincts

And open your kindness within

You, of course. Who else I’d be talking about?

But now you know there is no way back out

Just keep marching ahead

With your head filled with illusionary images

Limiting your true knowledge

What am I talking about? You still don’t get it?

Wasted thoughts

They have no meaning if they’re not being spoken out loud

Or do they?

Someone must have thought of them

 

Chorus

Drawing up one big circle and washing away the lines of time

Throwing in there all life experiences, watching them all shine

Should I just call it the present or my whole life instead?

When I recollect my future memories do I think in dates and years?

Or do I simply reminisce the events that are still fierce?

 

Verse 2

The limits

Heavy words shoved into a short sentence

Put a question mark at the end

To make it sound more complex

But in reality I’m only speaking about what you thought

Without worrying what my family and friends will know

Or perhaps I’m just creating fiction and these are not my ideas

But simply my imagination running around producing some crazy theories

Or could they be my future memories?

 

Chorus

Drawing up one big circle and washing away the lines of time

Throwing in there all life experiences, watching them all shine

Should I just call it the present or my whole life instead?

When I recollect my future memories do I think in dates and years?

Or do I simply reminisce the events that are still fierce?

 

Verse 3

Tomorrow I did something stupid

My future memories are coming back to me in the past

At last

Watching what I said to my close ones

5 years from now

If I could see it and feel it how would I behave right now?

Would I tell myself that it will be all fine somehow?

Would I pat myself on the back

When all I did was slack?

Dreaming about how the past was in the future

Would it confuse my head?

 

Chorus

Drawing up one big circle and washing away the lines of time

Throwing in there all life experiences, watching them all shine

Should I just call it the present or my whole life instead?

When I recollect my future memories do I think in dates and years?

Or do I simply reminisce the events that are still fierce?

 

Outro

I believe I will remember the feelings better

My past self is nodding and I have nothing against her

So it’s time to decide: feelings or actions?

What’s more important to me: the wholeness or the fractions?

Theory: why do we need to sleep?

This one will be a bit philosophical. I don’t normally do this but the sudden thought I had last night while meditating really got me thinking on such a deep level that it gave me a headache. I haven’t had a ‘thinking headache’ since I was a child.

I remember I would try to understand the concept of time and space in relation to the universe. I was around 12 or 13 when I first remember spending time just thinking about time. I wanted to know where the world begins and ends physically and in-time. Then when I thought I had my answers I asked myself: “But what’s happened before that?” or “What is outside of our galaxy and where is the border of the universe and what’s outside of that?”. Let me tell you, I wasn’t the nerdy kind. I wasn’t interested in physics or maths or even philosophy. At that time I didn’t even know what quantum physics was. I just enjoyed questioning and challenging my imagination. Maybe that was my creativity being born there and then, who knows.

But let’s go back to my provoking thought from last night. The way our brain works fascinates me. The most intriguing part for me is that there is still so much uncertainty, so much to explore, to learn. Scientists and experts still don’t have a black & white answer to why our brains and our whole human beings need to sleep.  What we all seem to agree on (I’m no expert or scientist but a curious individual) is that at some point during our sleep cycle our conscious mind finally shuts up. That little voice in your head no longer throws negative thoughts at you, no longer questions your decisions or brings up possible reasons why you should worry. You stop destroying your own mood. I’m sure you’ve heard about things like ‘You are what you think’ ‘Law of Attraction’ and ‘Positive thinking’ and such. In a very brief nutshell: you get what you’re thinking about. More like how you’re thinking about it. You can call it religion, call it lifestyle, mind-set or whatever you want to call it, I’m not here to argue this part.

My thought last night was this: what if, the reason we all need to sleep and switch off the consciousness is to silence the negativity and stop destroying our chance for happiness? What if the entire universe feeds on the positivity, the good things, the creation of something amazing? I couldn’t find any actual statistics so I will guess a number now: at any point during a 24 hour period let’s say 20% of Earth’s population is asleep and the negativity is on hold. What if this is vital for our survival? If our positive and negative thoughts have an effect on our Universe then I would assume the positive ones would make a better impact for all of us. What would happen if we all stayed awake for 24 hours and let that little voice carry on with the negative talk? Would we notice a difference? What if the entire population would be asleep and I would stay awake? I have more questions but I let you come up with some other ones yourself.