Dream with me and live without me
Tomorrow might be just a fantasy
And apologising to me will be a courtesy
Dancing around the pieces of our broken dreams
Might help you to forget me. Go on and heal.
The truth might be buried deep
But the heart sees
Beneath the lies,
Begin the new trip. And trip over yourself
In the process
Because pain now means less
That is a new Yes.
She didn’t see how to connect the dots at first. But the more she let go and the more she accepted the events of life, she became more content. I can’t say she didn’t suffer or she didn’t feel pain in the process. Oh boy, she felt great pain.
But deep within, beneath all that masquerade, she knew that it was supposed to play out exactly like this. Most people yearn for finding that connection with someone that is meant to take your breath away. (It took her everything away, not only her breath though.) And when it does, you clinch your ten fingers into it so deep that you scratch the other person. But what she did instead, was gently stroking his forehead, blowing a kiss on his cheeks and set him free.
Let him go, on his way to do all the trivial things he had to do. This love was greater than fairy tales and dreams and all that nonsense. It was destined. They found each other eventually, again, and they will find each other again, time after time. What she felt was more magnificent than what this life could handle. He felt the same. They found each other without even looking for this. They both knew that they needed to go separate ways. They had to. Even though life had plans for them that kept them apart, underneath it all they always had each other. The pure, electric connection, that was so honest but so hidden that no one else could see, only them. Two souls, wrapped around each other, yet letting themselves wonder around into the opposite direction.
Was this love? She pondered. No. It was much stronger than that. It was an eternity connection that no one could take away. So she smiled as he took his last breath because she knew, she was certain, that they would find each other…again. Time after time.
How do we realise that we’re going through a changing process? When does it switch on in our mind that this is it, something going on right now? Until this moment, I never managed to grab onto the process and consciously enjoy the ride. I only noticed the changes within me after they took place and settled. But right now, I’m fully aware of the fact that something deep within me is turning. Like an ancient wooden wheel being steered into a different angle. It’s not a smooth movement. It’s making a crackling sound, gets stiff every now and then and it needs a harder push to change its position.
I believe in something, I speak it as my truth, yet I have an internal battle when it comes to action time. I’m shedding my old skin, the very same skin I firmly believed I shed already. Yet it’s still stuck on me. Ripping it off bit by bit is a painful process but it needs to be done. What’s emerging underneath is still unknown to me. Endless number of questions are swirling inside my head, around my soul and within my heart. How do I bring them into one clear focus point? I’m not sure. I just have to trust the process. To know, deep within, that the answers will arrive I’m ready, when I need them. Until then I let go of doubts and fear. I go straight through this terrifying experience and embrace the uncertainty. I feel that I started walking my true path even though I don’t see the road yet.
So many people say ‘I don’t have time for that’. And it has been said numerous times before me that we have time for what we make time for. But. What if some of us don’t have the basic required means to do what we really would like to do? And I’m not talking about luxury experiences here. Taking a day off to relax our mind might not be possible for someone who works 7 days a week in an undeveloped country for such a low wage that is barely enough to cover survival needs. Going for dinner in a restaurant? Out of the question for these people. Yet they have such strength and calmness. They do not worry what tomorrow will bring because they only enjoy the present day. They’re grateful to experience today. Then another today and another until years have passed. These kind of people are scared to dream.
How can they develop an ambitious mindset when they don’t see any opportunities getting lost when suddenly coming their way? These people truly embrace every 24-hour, every moment, every millisecond. They cherish life. Their 24-hour feels longer. No, not because they are suffering, not at all. These people might live in poverty or a near poverty environment, yet they are happy. They appreciate the smallest things that most of us walk by. A genuine smile, the taste of ripe fruit, the smooth breeze on our skins, an honest conversation. Being fully present and fully experiencing every moment what extends their 24-hours.
Stop trying to organise your thoughts,
Trying too hard will not take you too far.
Simply let them float around inside your mind
But be prepared for what you might find
Are you truly ready to hear the truth?
Or are you still fighting your battle within you?
There is no right or wrong timing in your life,
How could it be when there is no time?
An illusion sucking us into a pattern,
Strapping us down so we fail to get better.
Break yourself free from these imaginary chains,
And accept that everything needs to change.
It won’t always be a fun, joyful process,
But know that it’s the only way to get to your fortress.
There is a tremendous amount of noise along this journey,
It’s your task to filter it out; can you feel the burning?
Let it burn you down to the ground where you belong.
The brightness of the darkness.
The white fire.
Feel the ashes of your illusions slipping through your fingers,
Look at your biggest fear in the eyes as it lingers.
Now you’re ready to hear what you really need to.
Enjoy this peaceful void that you’re falling into.
Deep rooted hidden geometrical patterns can emerge from our daily events. Even for the trained eye it’s challenging to notice them. But once you catch a glimpse of it then magnificent truths can unfold.
Truths that were in front of us all along, yet we managed to keep our sight blind. What decides the timing of discovery? What process takes place within us that switches the latch to the ready position? Is it even an internal process? Or does something external rips off the blindfold from our forehead? Maybe the answers are not so clear. They are slightly morphed into each other creating a foggy environment. Mind-cloud. Add some emotions to the mix s well to find yourself at the gates of eternal questioning. Philosophical debates with yourself with no winning argument. It’s a forever-draw inside the mind-cloud.
How did we end up here? Let me recap.
Blindfold ripped off, searching for the how, feeling our way through emotions. Gates.
Should we want to take a sudden spin and start walking back away from here, we then realise that the path has vanished. No other options, must open the gates. One step at a time, one step at a time.