Category Archives: Motivational

Assumptions

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Almost perfect – she thought sitting outside of the coffee shop where people were queuing for home made carrot cakes, non-fat lattes, full fat cappuccinos and everything else we are told to buy but can’t really afford. She took a sip of her freshly ground Italian coffee as she observed the crowd through her overpriced sunglasses. Her chair was facing the main square providing an excellent view of the street musician who was surrounded by that crowd she now decided to be unexciting. The musician however caught her full attention.

Her mind immediately started playing a movie starring her and the gorgeous guitar player.

“Marco what is this?”
“This for you mio amore, you can wear it around your beautiful neck, so I will always be close to your heart. See this? It says Dolce Vita. Do you know what that means?”

A young waitress interrupted her daydreaming waving in front of her face, asking if she needed anything else. She looked at the inpatient girl and shook her head without saying a word, and showed her the well known sign for ‘Bill please’ which increased the waitress’ blood pressure drastically.

“I can’t believe this woman” – the offended waitress whispered to her colleagues ear, taking her anger out on the till.
“Look at her, I’m sure she’s not even 30 but she acts like if she had the same life as the Queen; just because she’s got it all she could have said a thank you or at least something. What a stuck up bitch, I wish I had spit in her coffee.”

“Come on Kate don’t be like that”

“What? Like her? Oh look, look ‘I’ve been shopping at Swarovski, I need more ear-rings, doesn’t matter I have only two ears I have to have a hundred of these.’”

“Just give her the bill and no spitting!”. Kate forced on a perfect fake smile they teach in customer service workshops and leaving her pride at the till she walked over to the Queen wannabe and placed the bill on the table.

“€28.99? Mm not too bad” – thinking as she opened her wallet to get some money out. Next to the stack of €20 and €50 notes a shiny business card caught her attention:  Lali Bronson – divorce lawyer. “I need to stop putting this off, I’ll contact her this evening. Oh… no email address, only phone numbers” – she tore up the card and left it next to her bill, placing more money on the table than the waitress deserved. She rummaged through her handbag, looking for a pencil to leave a note for the waitress.

Her friend arrived just when she finished writing. As they walked away she told her how amazing the coffee was – by using sign language.

 

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Steering wheel, driving

Expect the best

Expectations. Are they hopeful illusions force fed to the mind or pre-warmed up blankets covering reality? Either way they are needed as much as oxygen to our lungs otherwise we suffocate through life.

Some say it’s best not to expect anything so that you don’t get to experience the darkness of disappointment. The hollow space that we all try to navigate away from: seeking alternative routes and strictly keeping our eyes on the destination. One wrong turn, one incompetent driver or simply one fault with the engine will result in crashing right into this unwanted place. It surely is high risk but without it we don’t have the map – and no, I’m not talking about life. No one will give you a map of your life. We all draw ours as we go, however I prefer to make mine to be more like a treasure hunt. And I’m sure you do too because every second that we get to have is worth more than any diamonds and gold.

Every moment you experience whether to be painful or pleasant is a gift that you should treasure because it becomes a tiny puzzle piece that will build YOU. So cherish it and keep your expectations but let them become your motivation. And when someone drives you off your route just kick them out of the driving seat and take the wheel.

Remember: you will not deliberately disappoint yourself but others might do that for you. Have your expectations based on yourself and don’t rely on anyone else to control your emotions. It’s all in your hands and THAT is your map.

Face with clocks

Twenty – four

We travel through our lives every day. Some of us get on a delayed train, some get stuck at a red light in our cars and some just sit on the sofa flicking through all the international channels while staring at the shiny illusion on the wall (you might call it the TV). We seem to have forgotten how to sit still and take pleasure of it. Not out of boredom, not because we’ve been told to do it but purely because we desire it. We spend hours chasing after routines, giving in to habits and choosing the easy option of following the crowd.

Then we spend about a third of our day earning money so that we can buy all the things that we don’t need but must possess. Things that we firmly believe will make us feel happy. And in fact they do have that effect on us for a few minutes, hours or depending on the purchase maybe days. Never years though. We never get the same excitement that we feel when ripping the packaging open. So we go and get our things and then carry on with our routine. And when the end of the day arrives we take a look back and say something like “such a busy day” or “I still have to do this tomorrow”.

Those 24 hours are nothing but a sample sized life. Make yours exciting. Stop the excuses.

Masks

Camouflaged souls

Wearing different masks can be exhausting. You get confused which one you need to put on or you get so used to some of them that you forget to take them off. People around you do not love you; they love your choice of cover-up. That’s what they see and that’s what they remember when thinking of you. It’s like when you get a wrapped up present and you’re not allowed to open it. You love the wrapping paper, the shininess of the ribbons, the shape of the gift. You don’t know what it’s hiding inside, yet you are so happy with what you see. Take in the falsified information and enjoy the illusion.

And there comes a time when you put on the wrong mask or forget to wear one. Confusion. Demolition. Realisation. They catch a glimpse of your true self and learn that all their beliefs have been a daydream, a
fantasy. You can’t erase the damage, the frustration.

Why can’t you accept who you really are behind that entire masquerade? Just be yourself and show your true face. Be brave enough to show the world all you’ve got without the disguise.

Life is happening NOW

There are some days when you wake up in the morning and you feel like you’re ready to take on the world, to do something different, to stand in front of the mirror and smile until your face hurts. I woke up like this today.

The best part of when this happens is that there is no specific reason behind this emotion. You feel alive and genuinely happy and content with EVERYTHING. Accepting the little things and the big things in your everyday life, realising that you’re a magnificent and amazing human being. Understanding that you are so ridiculously lucky to be alive, to be part of this fantastic experience called Life. Appreciating all the events that are happening to you. Feeling grateful for being able to breathe, to see the colours around you, to stand on your own feet, to hear your friends and family talking to you. Sometimes you need to stop and realise that all the things that you take for granted might seem like a massive gift to others or even an impossible dream to have.

 
So I challenge you my friend: take a few moments and count your blessings. What do you have that money can’t buy? Because it is the cliché as it is: happiness does NOT come from the things you buy, it is simply enjoying what you already have: your physical and emotional abilities, the wonderful people around you and the yet unknown opportunities that lie in front of you. Be present and love your life the way it is. Let go of your past. Everything else will unfold and fall into its place, I promise.

Why is failure a good thing?

When you finally realise what you want, you have no choice but to go for it. Stop asking yourself: “but what if it won’t work out?”. If you don’t try at least then all you will have is a selection of imaginary scenarios of how your life could have planned out.

You have the pen in your hand writing the story of your life. Take control. Act on your wishes. What’s the worst that could happen? You make a mistake? So what? If you never make any mistakes then how will you ever learn and become better? Don’t be afraid of failure because failing is nothing but getting one step closer to a stronger you. Get up and try again or try something different. But please, keep trying! Would you rather just stand still and watch your life float by or do you want to experience some magnificent waves?

Hourglass

5 minutes

I feel much better than I did 5 minutes ago because that’s how long it took me to realise that I am actually in charge of my own feelings. Why waste your time reminiscing about the past or daydreaming about the future? When in fact what I only have control over is the now. It comes so naturally to me to give out this advice to others but when I should be telling myself the same thing, the words just get stuck in my throat. They turned into a useless whimper, a squeaky sound instead of forming into a clear-cut motivational speech. 5 minutes. Enough time to reassess your feelings.

How are you exactly feeling right now? If you would need to describe with only 1 word, what would it be? Why are you feeling that way? Without understanding the triggers behind your emotions it is simply impossible to take control over them and steer them into a much preferred direction.

Let me give you an example:

You’re feeling angry waiting at the red traffic light. Why are you angry? You question yourself and notice that you’re angry because you’re running late from a meeting. Are you really angry or is it more like stressed out / anxious? You realise that you’re not angry but worried that you might arrive late. So, what are your options? You can’t physically change the traffic lights from red to green. You could drive through the red light which would mean putting others’ and your lives at risk, so clearly that’s not an option. You make a decision. When the light changes to green, you pull over to make a phone call and let them know that there is a possibility of you arriving a little late. Worry disappears and you carry on driving and actually manage to arrive on time.

This is how you take charge of your emotions. Assess your current situation in as much detail as you can; look for solutions; make a decision and your mood will shift.

  1. Assess situation
  2. Solution
  3. Decision

Now it would be the perfect time to use the cliché here “it’s simple as 1,2,3” but I seriously dislike clichés and it’s my decision to not use it. Take charge of your emotions and your life now!