Category Archives: Non-fiction

Double jointed circle

29/05/2018

Upside down
Round and round

The circle keeps rolling back to its starting point but now the shape looks different to me. It’s no longer a circle. It resembles more of an 8 shape. Double jointed circle bent in the middle into infinity. Cliché? Perhaps. Yet it doesn’t faze me.

Keep going, keep going, round and round, upside down.
Same thing. New perception.

Sexual art

26/01/2018

It was not a game we played, yet I feel like I lost

When we rolled the dice
We realised
What we wanted the most
Was what we have lost
The effect came afterwards of course
We didn’t think it through, I suppose
But it’s too late now to undo this
As my lips shiver for just one more kiss
How I imagine your fingers dig into my neck
There’s no way we can ever go back

The frequency of your voice
Sends me into a shock
My body vibrates
Blood pressure on high rates
Muscles tighten up
Your palm becomes a cup
Holding body parts
It’s sexual art

A whiff of your scent sets fire to my nerves
And the desire to feel your body on me burns
It burns through my rational thoughts and judgement
You breath in, I breathe out, no need for adjustment
Time eventually ceases
Our connection increases
I exhale the sweet sounds of joy
You watch me elevate and shake, enjoy!

The frequency of your voice
Sends me into a shock
My body vibrates
Blood pressure on high rates
Muscles tighten up
Your palm becomes a cup
Holding body parts
It’s sexual art

Just when I think I can’t take it anymore
You pull me closer into you, encore
But the best part is not the multiple joy
Not even the fact that I completely lost control
But it’s the truth that we united and became one
Without you in my life I’m absolutely undone.

Trip over yourself

01/04/2017

Dream with me and live without me
Tomorrow might be just a fantasy
And apologising to me will be a courtesy
Dancing around the pieces of our broken dreams
Might help you to forget me. Go on and heal.
The truth might be buried deep

But the heart sees
Beneath the lies,
The cries,
The begging.

Begin the new trip. And trip over yourself
In the process
Because pain now means less
That is a new Yes.

 

How to let go

19/01/18

She didn’t see how to connect the dots at first. But the more she let go and the more she accepted the events of life, she became more content. I can’t say she didn’t suffer or she didn’t feel pain in the process. Oh boy, she felt great pain.

But deep within, beneath all that masquerade, she knew that it was supposed to play out exactly like this. Most people yearn for finding that connection with someone that is meant to take your breath away. (It took her everything away, not only her breath though.) And when it does, you clinch your ten fingers into it so deep that you scratch the other person. But what she did instead, was gently stroking his forehead, blowing a kiss on his cheeks and set him free.

Let him go, on his way to do all the trivial things he had to do. This love was greater than fairy tales and dreams and all that nonsense. It was destined. They found each other eventually, again, and they will find each other again, time after time. What she felt was more magnificent than what this life could handle. He felt the same. They found each other without even looking for this. They both knew that they needed to go separate ways. They had to. Even though life had plans for them that kept them apart, underneath it all they always had each other. The pure, electric connection, that was so honest but so hidden that no one else could see, only them. Two souls, wrapped around each other, yet letting themselves wonder around into the opposite direction.

Was this love? She pondered. No. It was much stronger than that. It was an eternity connection that no one could take away. So she smiled as he took his last breath because she knew, she was certain, that they would find each other…again. Time after time.

Still shedding

03/12/2018

How do we realise that we’re going through a changing process? When does it switch on in our mind that this is it, something going on right now? Until this moment, I never managed to grab onto the process and consciously enjoy the ride. I only noticed the changes within me after they took place and settled. But right now, I’m fully aware of the fact that something deep within me is turning. Like an ancient wooden wheel being steered into a different angle. It’s not a smooth movement. It’s making a crackling sound, gets stiff every now and then and it needs a harder push to change its position.

I believe in something, I speak it as my truth, yet I have an internal battle when it comes to action time. I’m shedding my old skin, the very same skin I firmly believed I shed already. Yet it’s still stuck on me. Ripping it off bit by bit is a painful process but it needs to be done. What’s emerging underneath is still unknown to me. Endless number of questions are swirling inside my head, around my soul and within my heart. How do I bring them into one clear focus point? I’m not sure. I just have to trust the process. To know, deep within, that the answers will arrive I’m ready, when I need them. Until then I let go of doubts and fear. I go straight through this terrifying experience and embrace the uncertainty. I feel that I started walking my true path even though I don’t see the road yet.

It’s time

11/12/2018

Extending our 24-hour time restricted day…

So many people say ‘I don’t have time for that’. And it has been said numerous times before me that we have time for what we make time for. But. What if some of us don’t have the basic required means to do what we really would like to do? And I’m not talking about luxury experiences here. Taking a day off to relax our mind might not be possible for someone who works 7 days a week in an undeveloped country for such a low wage that is barely enough to cover survival needs. Going for dinner in a restaurant? Out of the question for these people. Yet they have such strength and calmness. They do not worry what tomorrow will bring because they only enjoy the present day. They’re grateful to experience today. Then another today and another until years have passed. These kind of people are scared to dream.

How can they develop an ambitious mindset when they don’t see any opportunities getting lost when suddenly coming their way? These people truly embrace every 24-hour, every moment, every millisecond. They cherish life. Their 24-hour feels longer. No, not because they are suffering, not at all. These people might live in poverty or a near poverty environment, yet they are happy. They appreciate the smallest things that most of us walk by. A genuine smile, the taste of ripe fruit, the smooth breeze on our skins, an honest conversation. Being fully present and fully experiencing every moment what extends their 24-hours.

The white fire

30/12/2016

Stop trying to organise your thoughts,
Trying too hard will not take you too far.
Simply let them float around inside your mind
But be prepared for what you might find
Are you truly ready to hear the truth?
Or are you still fighting your battle within you?

There is no right or wrong timing in your life,
How could it be when there is no time?

An illusion sucking us into a pattern,
Strapping us down so we fail to get better.
Break yourself free from these imaginary chains,
And accept that everything needs to change.
It won’t always be a fun, joyful process,
But know that it’s the only way to get to your fortress.

There is a tremendous amount of noise along this journey,
It’s your task to filter it out; can you feel the burning?

Let it burn you down to the ground where you belong.
The flames.
The smoke.
The brightness of the darkness.
The white fire.
Sweat drops.
Steaming.

Feel the ashes of your illusions slipping through your fingers,
Look at your biggest fear in the eyes as it lingers.

Now you’re ready to hear what you really need to.
Enjoy this peaceful void that you’re falling into.