22/ 04/2019

You think I need the superficial
For my loyalty to become official
You think that you amaze me with stories
of brands and luxury but they just bored me
I never needed any of that
And every time you did that,
My lips just frowned uncontrollably.
That sad second influenced this poetry
Reflection. Realisation. Sobering.

The times you really made my soul smile
Were when you put on a vulnerable style
When you showed me your insecurities and pain
Your real desires for happiness you couldn’t attain

Those gentle touches on my shoulder to make sure I was not cold again
Those sacrifices to see me smile and not have a reason to complain

When you gave me (without asking) the last piece of chocolate
When you showed me your favourite songs under the blanket
When you thanked me for taking the seeds out of the watermelon
When we quietly watched cartoons and laughed in perfect unison
When you asked me how I could be so patient with you and your concern
When you told me you exactly knew I’m not getting enough back in return

Then the structure shifted.
Then you would say something superficial again. You got stuck in your past.
You kept on reminiscing of how you once lived.
None of that impressed me.
I didn’t care about the photos of expensive cars and watches.
I cared more about your photos of silly faces.
This is obviously not a poem as you can see.
Don’t let the structure fool you.

It’s just a superficial illusion, nothing else.
Mostly what this whole life-sharing experience meant to you.
So that in a few years, when I’m established,
You can say that you lived together with this girl.
To me it meant a whole lot more. I gave you my authentic self.
I showed you my hidden parts and I loved you deeply.
I played no games, no tactics, no illusions.
I truly loved you. All of you. The real you, behind the superficial illusion.
I wish you nothing else but to learn to love yourself the way I did.
Behind the scenes, away from the stories. For who you really are.

Because you are wonderful.